~~~*** WELCOME TO THE WORST COMMISH EVER FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE!!! ***~~~ <<< 20 YEARS OF GLORY, HEARTBREAK, AND ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE TRADES >>> ~~~*** HEROES GET REMEMBERED BUT LEGENDS NEVER DIE!!! ***~~~ <<< YOU'RE KILLIN' ME, SMALLS >>> ~~~*** SET YOUR LINEUP OR GET PUBLICLY SHAMED!!! ***~~~ ~~~*** WELCOME TO THE WORST COMMISH EVER FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE!!! ***~~~ <<< 20 YEARS OF GLORY, HEARTBREAK, AND ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE TRADES >>> ~~~*** HEROES GET REMEMBERED BUT LEGENDS NEVER DIE!!! ***~~~ <<< YOU'RE KILLIN' ME, SMALLS >>> ~~~*** SET YOUR LINEUP OR GET PUBLICLY SHAMED!!! ***~~~

DREAM TEAMS 2025

Roll the dice and fire your hand symbols brave warriors

Koala lambpork
Owner: THomas
2025 Record: 8-7
Nerd Rage
Owner: Kyle
2025 Record: 9-6
Mi Nombre es Peyton
Owner: Aaron
2025 Record: 10-5
F.U.B.A.R.
Owner: Conway
2025 Record: 9-6
Mohawk National
Owner: McLean
2025 Record: 8-7
Big Bird
Owner: Jonathan Young
2025 Record: 7-8
Embrace The Chaos!
Owner: Gary
2025 Record: 8-7
Ben's Bold Team
Owner: Ben
2025 Record: 8-7
Half-Smokes
Owner: Dave G
2025 Record: 7-8
SCHNEEBO'S CTE DREAMERZ
Owner: Boost Poppa Charlie
2025 Record: 7-8
TheSkeeterValentines
Owner: JBex
2025 Record: 6-9
The Violets
Owner: Ben
2025 Record: 3-12

WALL OF FAME & SHAME

Heroes get remembered, but legends never die

Year🏆 Champion🍌 Last Place
2025 Koala lambpork The Violets
2024 Koala lambpork Nerd Rage
2023 TheSkeeterValentines Mohawk National
2022 Koala lambpork F.U.B.A.R.
2021 Mohawk National Mi Nombre es Peyton
2020 Big Bird Mi Nombre es Peyton
2019 Ben's Bold Team Nerd Rage
2018 TheSkeeterValentines Nerd Rage
2017 Nerd Rage Big Bird
2016 Koala lambpork The Violets
2015 Half-Smokes Mi Nombre es Peyton
2014 Embrace The Chaos! Half-Smokes
2013 Big Bird Bronuts
2012 Mohawk National TheTheobaldWolftones
2011 The Violets kittencock
2010 Captain Arab Dallas Cowboys
2009 -- --
2008 -- --
2007 -- --
2006 Beantown Ballers BATMAN
2005 -- --

FORMER AND CURRENT HEROES

The brave souls who have graced our league

Ben
2006-2025 (17 seasons)
Team WeakThe VioletsBen's Bold Team
Boost Poppa Charlie
2006-2025 (17 seasons)
Countdown to ThunderOfficial Worst TeamGary For CongressDakota VengeanceBIZARRO GARYOPTIMAL GARYMEGADONGTHE STEW PORK WETSSCHNEEBO'S CTE DREAMERZ
Conway
2006-2025 (17 seasons)
MekonRiverCatfishHow Ya Like Me Now?Justinisaweenus!TheTheobaldWolftonesThePeytonManningShowTheAndyDaltonShowF.U.B.A.R.
JBex
2006-2025 (17 seasons)
Beantown BallersTheSkeeterValentinesImpeachTheCommishDefiancePhiladelphia
Kyle
2006-2025 (17 seasons)
BATMANZerg Dominationmeatsausagesurprise!Nerd Rage
McLean
2006-2025 (17 seasons)
Mohawk National
THomas
2006-2025 (17 seasons)
Hoohah DogtimeShazizmo CougarAllykittencockCheesepleasersBronutsWinosKoala lambpork
Dave G
2010-2025 (16 seasons)
More HopenchangeCharles BronsonHalf-Smokes
Gary
2010-2025 (16 seasons)
Mean Green MachineEmbrace The Chaos!
Jonathan Young
2010-2025 (16 seasons)
Big BirdHorny for Hanie
Aaron
2012-2025 (14 seasons)
Mi Nombre es Peyton
Nahush
2006-2018 (10 seasons)
Captain Arab
~ Gone but not forgotten ~

LEAGUE HISTORY

20 Years of Fantasy Football Excellence (and Chaos)

2005
The league is founded by a group of ass-pants appreciators who had no idea what they were getting into. First commissioner elected (or volunteered, I don't remember).
2010
The "Worst Commish Ever" name is officially adopted to describe what we all knew to be true.
2013
League goes Global. Highway to the Timezone Dangerzone
2020
15 years! The pandemic couldn't stop us. Virtual draft party happens. Gary drinks 3 bourbons before 10pm.
2025
20 YEARS! Two decades of friendship, rivalry, and practically zero trading.
📚

League historians are compiling more stories...

LEAGUE RULES

The Sacred Laws of the League

  1. Pay Your Dues League fees must be paid before the draft. No pay, no play. The commissioner will hunt you down.
  2. Set Your Lineup There is no excuse for an empty roster spot. If you can't be bothered, you will be publicly shamed.
  3. No Collusion Trades must be fair. If two teams are caught conspiring, both will face consequences determined by league vote.
  4. Trade Deadline All trades must be completed by Week 10. No exceptions, no matter how much you beg.
  5. Respect the Commish Even when they're the worst. Especially when they're the worst.
  6. Trash Talk Encouraged Keep it fun, keep it creative, keep it in the group chat. What happens in the league stays in the league.
📜

Full rulebook being digitized from ancient Hebrew scrolls...